we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
