Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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