i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
