i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
