I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
