I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
