I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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