My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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