are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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