Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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