You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Randomize
