i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
