don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You made out with two different species that night
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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