dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
