is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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