I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
