so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
