I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
