They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
