I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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