I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize