I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
