She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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