bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
