Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
