so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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