Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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