its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
