EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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