Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
