is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Boobs speak an international language.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
