I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
