I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
