I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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