I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
