no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
