gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We had to coat check the pizza.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Bring me that man meat
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize