I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think your dad took our porno
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
