You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
