you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
