am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize