God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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