Ambien. No doubt about it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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