Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
