thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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