The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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