and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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