you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
