So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
