I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
