i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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