Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
