Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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