Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
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