i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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