He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
