isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
