Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
