Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
