I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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