I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
