i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
