The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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