I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
