3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
