If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We're too hungover to prance.
The adults are the big ones right?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize