what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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