So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
