shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
