I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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