yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
