What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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