so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
how does that bad decision feel?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
